FIRST PLACE: Andy Tompkins
I've no idea how long I was stuck in the roof of that cottage. The only evidence of time was the slow desiccation of my body, maggots finally dying out as my flesh dried to a crisp. After such a long time so static, suddenly everything seemed to change so quickly.
Deafening noise all around. Pulled from the roof by a human hand. A man's face, covered in dirt. Shocked, but elated to find me. 'Bex will love this' was all I heard before being placed in a plastic bag. I began to imagine who this Bex was, why it was my destiny to be with her.
Then the day came, she took me to her home and I felt such relief when she so carefully pulled the remaining mummified maggots from my body.
Her room was full of wonders, I learnt that she was an artist, with a fascination with the macabre. Skulls and taxidermy adorned her room and in the chaos I found my place upon a golden platter. Before long, I too had been spray painted gold. At first I wasn't sure, but I soon came to enjoy the reactions to my new 'bling' appearance, more joy than revulsion.
She took me to many art shows and I enjoyed being on display. It was after a larger exhibition that I started to understand that Bex had greater plans for me. Apparently my final resting position, trapped in that roof, splayed out on my back, maggot holes over my body, I looked like a great hero from the wild-west, gunned down in his prime at some high-noon showdown.
Then everything began to change with talk of a road trip out to Spain, to the Sierra Nevada, where they'd shot many of the great Western movies. She began to sell her collection and the room slowly emptied around me. I realised I was destined for Spain, that she planned to find my final place of rest somewhere in the mountains. At first I wasn't sure, a mummified squirrel pretending to be a cowboy in a strange land? But Bex's elation was contagious and I promised myself not to let her down.
After three months on the road, I had no reason to worry. Her love for me was so strong that no place was 'perfect' for my final rest and our travels into the sunset continue to this day.
By Andy Tompkins




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